Rating: R, Ed and his potty mouth
Summary: That didn't go quiet as expected.
[Part One] [Part Two]
Ling backed around the room, the young Aerugoan prince clinging to his waist. For a few moments it looked like Ling was trying to shimmy the prince down his legs, so he might step free of his arms, like taking off a pair of pants; but the prince was to persistent for that. Could it be, Ling Yao, annoying pain in the ass of Edward Elric for a number of years now, had finally met his match?
There was nothing like a good comeupance, and Ed felt, perhaps for the first time ever, like he should take advantage of another man's weakness.
“Prince Ling is a very progressive thinker!” he declared loudly, causing Ling to actually open his eyes and prince Marco to turn his head a little. “You have very good taste in mentors, Prince Marco,” Ed said, attempting to look like an educated observer, “very shrewd for your young years. I would not take no for an answer, no matter how much Prince Ling might protest. I think you owe it to your people to find new and revolutionary views to help guide your country into a glorious future.”
Ling's jaw was now open and resting on the top of Marco's head and Marco appeared to have stars for pupils and he tighten his hold and Ling made a strangled bid for air.
“We all know how wise the Xingians are,” Ed ended, grinning so wide his ears had moved back a little. “It would be a shame if none of it every got imparted.”
Ling had reeled his jaw back in by now, and he seemed to be baring his teeth in Ed's direction, or that is the impression Ed got; it was hard to tell through all the black hair. Ling had given up trying to pry Marco off and was just standing in the boy's grip now.
“First of all, Edward is not my servant, he is my wife,” Ling said. “He is my first wife and he's not very proper nor has he ever been trained.”
“I am NOT your wife,” Ed supplied heatedly in rebuttal.
“This is progression!” Prince Marco cried. “The total disenfranchisement of the royal class! A society that casts off all it's traditions and works to create a utopia of liberty between all, regardless of gender or wealth!”
“Well,” Ling said, “I suppose...”
“I'm sure Prince Ling is just dying to start casting off all that wealth and entitlement he's got going on for him right now,” Ed grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.
Marco released Ling's waist so he could step back and look up at him with shining eyes.
“If this is true, I would follow you to the depths of poverty and beyond,” he told the face full of black hair. “We could create a communal compound to house the masses and spur all offers of any outside assistance as we slowly waste away. But we will have each other, firm in our convictions and true in our hearts. It's so romantic,” the boy hugged himself and gave a little sigh.
“Excuse me,” Prince Ling said, “but I need a word with my wife,” and Ling stepped around Marco, grabbed Ed's elbow and gave him a hard tug. Ed was still grinning ear to ear and let himself be tugged away, across the room and into the bathroom, closing the door behind them. But the door flew open again a scant second later, long enough for Ed to say; “I'm not his wife!” then it was pulled closed again.
“What are you doing?” Ling asked, voice quiet but high and squeaky.
“Talking you up,” Ed said, leaning in to peer up at the prince's face, surprisingly the prince leaned back. “You want everyone to know how great you are, so I'm helping you along!”
“You think I'm great?” Ling asked, sounding a little breathless and reaching up to push his hair back to see Ed's face properly. “Really?”
“Fuck no,” Ed grinned, but then he watched the look on Ling's face drop and Ling let his hair swing back into place, concealing his face once again. “Hey come on, look, you know what I mean. I think you're full of shit and I've never lead you to believe otherwise,” Ed wasn't sure what he was saying, or why he felt uncomfortable guilt. “For all the shit you've put me through I think maybe it's my turn.”
“Very well, you shall have your turn,” the prince said from behind his hair. Ed couldn't see his expression, but something in Ling's tone made his stomach jump a little.
Ling shoved him aside then, grabbed the door and threw it open, threw his arms in the air and announced: “All your ideas and nobel intentions have made me see you are correct, Prince Marco!”
Marco looked like he might faint from happiness.
“I'm ready to cast it all aside and live in the slums of Aerguo with you to show that at the base of it all we are really one people with one common goal; even if that goal seems to be living in abject poverty to prove a point. I will make myself as destitute and pointless as I can possibly be with you as my disciple. Together we will wonder and teach our new found wisdom to the masses, what do you say to that?” Ling said, putting his hands on his hips and cocking his head to give some expression to his hair hidden features.
“I am in awe of your foresight and wisdom!” The young prince sobbed, and when Ling opened his arms, Marco flew into them. “Shall we go this moment to plan our rise to sainthood? And what about your wife?” Marco said, looking at Ed from over Ling's shoulder.
“He's not my wife,” Ling said casually, “therefore he doesn't figure in; come, we have much to discuss,” and Ling let Marco take his hand and lead him to the door.
“Hey,” Ed said, feeling somehow this joke had backfired, “wait a minute, where are you going?”
“Don't trouble yourself,” Ling said, patting the air in Ed's direction. “You're free to return on the train to Amestris unburdened by any sentimentality. You better hurry up though, if you don't check out by noon they'll charge you for the room,” then Ling was out the door with Prince Marco and gone and Ed just stood there looking after them and wondering what just happened.