The Icon Alchemist (sky_dark) wrote,
The Icon Alchemist

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That's What You Get - Part Two

Title: Thats What You Get
Rathing: R, Ed has anger management issues
Pairing: Ling/Ed
Summary: Rascally Xingian Royalty meets other royalty and Ed is amused.

[Part One] [Part 3]

"We are not married," Ed said as he searched the room over very determinedly for his shirt. He had his pants, he'd found them after an hour long crawl around the room on his belly with Prince Unhelpful holding court on the bed. Well ok, not an hour, his head just made it feel that way.

"You said I do, you sacrificed part of your own... metal and alchemy to make the rings," the prince protested, still nude, still lounging on the bed.

"Get up and get dressed, we aren't staying here past check out because I'm not paying for another night," Ed growled, still shirtless, starting to believe he was going to stay that way. "And we're not married. For one, guys can't get married."

"In Central," the prince said, "but you forget my love, we aren't even in Amestris at the moment. The laws here are much, much more liberal than your war mongering little parliament could ever hope to be."

"You can't prove I said yes," Ed sputtered, "I know I wouldn't have said yes."

"Suit yourself," the prince said, lying on his back now, arms crossed behind his head. "The fact that you have a spotty memory of the events last night, coupled with a throng of witnesses and the fact that we've consummated the relationship obviously mean nothing to you."

"We did what?" Ed said slowly, each word tumbling from his mouth and shaking the floor as it landed. "We did what with our relationship? We don't even have a relationship. You just throw down the royalty card whenever you show up and want to make me suffer. You and I? We are so not in a relationship that other relationships tremble in terror when they move by us fearing they will be sucked into the void of nothingness that our combined not relationship status creates. So, in conclusion, we aren't married, no one consummated anyone else and when we leave this resort, before check out, this morning, nothing will have ever happened. The end."

"You really don't remember?" the prince said, finally sitting up. "You don't remember anything about us in this room last night?"

"No, why should I?" Ed snorted, getting to his feet and considering the shirt a lost cause. He would just have to transmute one out of the curtains or something and hightail it to the train station before the resort figured it out. He looked over at Ling and paused. Ling had a strange look on his face.

Ed was use to the many moods of Ling. They vacillated from closed eyed dorky fox-faced happiness to closed eyed dorky fox-faced happiness with hunger and back again. Occasionally there was a look of closed eyed dorky fox-faced concern, but that was saved for when they were fighting/fleeing for their lives; but this new look was something Ed had never had experience with and he wasn't sure how to interpret it. He wasn't good at interpreting things like moods, in either gender, and he'd had some painful lessons at being horribly wrong; he didn't care to repeat them. But asking Ling what was going on in his mind to explain the look on his face would be like admitting fallacy, something he didn't do readily with Ling.

Ling continued to sit there, naked and cross legged with his hair a wild black curtain in his face and looking that look that Ed didn't know, or he told himself he didn't know. He momentarily stalled in his quest for a shirt and Ling reached up to push some of his hair out of his face.

"Was it something I'm going to need to remember for say, oh, a court hearing?" Ed ventured.

"I can't believe you don't remember the greatest night of your life!" Ling finally burst out. "You really don't remember?! Why?!"

Ed leaned back a moment, momentarily stunned, but he recovered quickly.

"Well, maybe it was the massive amounts of alcohol?" he ventured.

"I can't believe you don't remember!" Ling said, running his fingers into his hair and then clenching to pull, "I was MAGNIFICENT! You told me that you'd never had it so good and that we would always be true and how no one could ever take my place in your affections. Oh, the humanity," the prince said, flopping down onto his back again and covering his eyes with the heels of his hands, "to think that my purported fifteen minutes of sexual fame was wasted on a drunken lout, who happens to be my wife."

Ed walked over to a chair beside the bed. It was an ordinary chair with ordinary trappings and Ed took the ordinary cushion from the ordinary seat. He then turned to the bed, raised it over his head and brought it down on the prince's head. There was much flailing and shrieking, because the prince was a shrieker, and dashing about the room then as the prince protested he was a lover, not a fighter, and what sort of man would hit his wife? Ed cornered him about then, tried to make him eat the pillow, then hastily grabbed the prince and dragged him to the bathroom when it seemed last night's partying had finally caught up with him, too.

After a harrowing spell of time standing outside the bathroom door, Ed decided what the prince really needed, other than a possible stomach pump, was to get dressed so they could get the hell out. As luck would have it he could only find Ling's pants. It was an odd thing they were both missing their shirts, especially since he was pretty sure they both had on shirts the night before. Then again his faulty beer soaked brain might have just been imagining it.

He looked at his automail hand again, to bemoan the fact he was going to get clobbered and clunked his own automail thumb against the ring on the last finger on his hand. He'd determined his AWOL pinky was probably the material used to make the rings, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out how the prince had managed to talk him into it.

Unless... but no, that was idiotic. Sure, they were in a foreign country with a lot more liberal standings, but even so, they were inebriated and no court in any land could hold him to anything he'd done while he probably couldn't even think of his own name. Well ok, maybe they could, but once they crossed the borders all that was pretty much null and void, right? And really, it's not like anything that Ling ever said was actually something to put stock in; well ok maybe that wasn't true, either. But this just reeked of his usual practical joke ways. There was no way they were married; why he even thought it for a minute was insane.

Only, he'd really looked kind of upset earlier, but oh wait, that was because Ed had not remembered his suppose sexual prowess. As if Ed would ever let any part of Ling touch any part of him that actually matters; and those parts? They mattered. The bathroom door swung open and the prince leaned against it. Ed couldn't tell how he was feeling because he couldn't see the prince's face for the shroud of black covering it. But the prince reached up, pushed the hair over one eye aside and regarded Ed in a baleful way.

"I think I'm dying," the prince said. "Heirless and with only the one wife," and he waved a finger at Ed. "You'll be a widower, you have to wear black forever by your own traditions."

"If you don't stop calling me your wife you're going to have a lot more to worry about than just dying," Ed growled, then threw the prince's pants at him. "Put those on, we're leaving. And in case you haven't noticed, I always wear black, I'm mourning my good sense in ever getting involved with you in the first place."

Ling staggered out into the room, ignoring the pants and going straight for Ed. He threw his arms over Ed's shoulder and leaned into him and Ed grunted and staggered back a step himself, bringing up his own hands to rest on the prince's sides.

"How can you be so cruel to me when it's clear I adore you with all my heart," the prince whimpered from somewhere behind his hair. "You know all my jaunts to Amestris now are with the sole intent upon seeing you," and then Ling tried to kiss him, or rather Ed thought that was what he was trying to do because there was suddenly a lot of black hair in Ed's face.

"What the fuck Ling, you were just yakking your brains out, don't try to kiss me," Ed said, turning his face away, making to push the prince away and Ling took a few steps back and just stood there and Ed could have sworn he was sniffling.

He shouldn't feel bad about this. This was just typically Ling and he should be use to this by now. He wasn't a sucker, he wasn't an idiot.

"Come on, get dressed, you're just hung over, you're not going to die," Ed continued. "Ran Fan or someone else in your entourage; who by the way are probably going out of their minds look for you, will fawn all over you when we get back. Go wash your face or something," Ed still couldn't see Ling's face, but he knew it was still there.

"I'll be a good husband," Ling moaned, "why don't you like me? I have always put you first in all things. Last night you told me you'd always looked forward to our union and now you're all like this," and the prince made a noise of disgust. "You lead me on, that's what you did. You made me believe all your pretty promises so you could set me up. You're a mean person," and the prince turned around and shuffled over to his pants. "I don't know why I married you," he said over his shoulder.

"Because you didn't marry me. You know tricking me into making rings out of my fucking pinky doesn't make us married. Stop going on about it," Ed said, feeling oddly uncomfortable. "Do you happen to know what happened to our shirts?"

"You don't even remember that?" the prince lamented. Then he seemed to gather himself, surged forward and grabbed Ed's hands bringing them up and pressing them to his bare chest. Ed was to flabbergasted to react and stood there gaping at him. It was very odd for anyone to grab his hands, let alone his automail one and willingly press it to any fleshy part of them.

"Do you feel this? My heart beating in time to yours? That is because I have pledged to be true to you; to make you the center of my world and to cherish you beyond measure. Do you not feel it? How can you deny what is in our hearts?" Ling leaned in close and Ed tried to pull back but his hands had him trapped.

"Cut...cut the bullshit," Ed muttered, eyes focusing on Ling's nose. "We don't have time for this crap."

Ling pressed Ed's hands harder into his chest, tried to get his face closer despite Ed's attempts to keep it away.

"Tell me you feel nothing. No longing in your heart, no heat in your veins, tell me that all my devotion is for naught. Break me alchemist, for no one, other than you, can lay me so low with a word. I breathe for you, how can you not see that?" and the prince pressed his height advantage, and kissed Ed on the lips and Ed's fingers curled against the prince's chest in alarm; but he didn't pull back.

The prince released him only to tighten his grip on Ed's hands, pull the alchemist forward, swing him around and back him toward the bed. Ed's eyes never left his face, Ed's cheeks were flushed brilliantly and when the back of his legs hit the side of the bed he didn't even try to slow the topple backwards. And then he just lay there, staring up at the prince.

For his own part, Ling was a little startled at his sudden turn of fortune. Edward had never been one to give into anything as easily as he seemed to be giving into this. And that gave Ling a moment of pause, because what was he doing, really? As he lingered there in uncertainty, which was a new and strange state of being for himself, Ed seemed to shake himself, as if trying to shake off whatever stupor Ling had managed to cast on him; and well, the prince couldn't have that! He leaned over Ed, placing his hands to either side of Ed's head and letting his unbound hair lay over his shoulders and hang down to brush at Ed's cheeks. Ed froze again, looking for the world like some animal, caught by the stare of a larger predator. And didn't that make the prince feel delicious? All this power, lying beneath him, enthralled by his royal self.

Ling placed the tip of his finger high on Ed's bare chest and began to draw a line straight down the center. Ed's eyes darted downward, to the finger, then back up to Ling's face anxiously. He gripped the comforter on the bed to either side of him tightly.

"Ok, so, say something really happened," Ed said. "That doesn't mean things are going to continue to happen. I don't know where you get off thinking I even wanted something to happen in the first place. But I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt considering I don't remember a whole lot of last night. The rings are a nice touch, not sure how you pulled that off, but I give you kudos for that. But this touchy feely stuff going on now? I'm gripping the comforter to keep from driving four fingered automail through your face, just in case you mistook that for something else."

"I knew all this lovely acquiescence was to good to be true," Ling sighed. He lifted his finger from Ed's stomach, but didn't lift his position from being over Ed, even if he wasn't touching him. "If I told you that you said I was to beautiful for my shirt and ripped it off me and chewed on the collar half the night before sacrificing it to the waves on the beach; along with your own, but the way, would that make any difference?"

"None what so ever," Ed said, folding his arms over his chest now.

Ling gave another extravagant sigh, then he leaned all his weight forward, like he was going to lie on top of Ed, however, it was just to get some spring from the mattress, and he propelled himself upright and once again pushed his hair out of his face.

"Fine, we'll leave," he huffed, bent over and grabbed his pants and yanked them up, managing to tie them in a baggy way just hanging off his hips. "But there will be a scathing letter of formal protest and then, maybe I won't want you to be my escort whenever I come to Amestris."

"NO," Ed mocked gasped, "REALLY?"

"I have the sneaking suspicion you are mocking me," Ling grate out, when everything was interrupted by a knock on the door. They both looked at it and then at each other, and the knock sounded again and Ed rolled his eyes, walked over to it and yanked it open.

The young man that stood there recoiled slightly; looking Ed up and down a moment, nose wrinkling slightly. He was only a little taller than Ed himself, with pale blond hair that hung in a short page cut that hugged his cheeks and rather fancy looking clothing. He clasped his hands together and and wet his lips and just as Ed was about to shut the door, he said: "Excuse me."

"Ok, you're excused," Ed said, then shut the door anyways, because he just didn't feel like fucking around with the locals. But the knock sounded again, even if it was only timid and Ed sighed loudly and swung the door open a second time. This time however, Ling stepped into view so he could see out the door himself.

"Prince Ling!" the new comer cried, rushed forward managing to twist his body in such a way he got past Ed without so much as touching him, and threw himself on the half dressed prince who was mostly obscured by his own hair and gave a half sob. "Why did you leave last night? After all we said to each other, how could you be so cruel?"

Ed was still marveling at the incredible feat of contortion it took to wind around his frame in the door way, but he shook himself out of his stupor to give Ling the fabled raised blond eyebrow.

"Oh, Prince Marco, did I leave in the middle of a conversation? How rude, you'll have to forgive me," and Ling looked at Ed, well his hair moved in a way that suggested that Ling had raised his face.

Ed sucked the inside of his cheek and leaned back against the door, folding his arms. He tilted his head just so and gave Ling the 'well, gonna tell me about it?' eye.

The young man released Ling just enough so he could look up into the black, hairy hole where Ling's face use to be; he gave himself a shake and seemed to try and gather himself for rational conversation.

"It wasn't just a conversation, it was a personal revelation to me," Prince Marco of Aerguo said, "the way you talk, your theories, your connection with the world around you; I've never know anyone so free. How is it you can cast of the yolk of your station so easily? How does it not weigh down your soul? I want you to teach me, and I want you to... tell me the things you told me last night," and the young man's cheeks flushed. "I want to relive those feelings again; never in my life have I ever met a true romantic."

"Ah," Ling said, putting his hands on the young man's shoulders and trying to step out of his grip.

"Gee, Prince Ling, you're a true romantic, huh?" said a voice full of mirth, a voice full of vindictive delight; the voice of his new wife, leaning shirtless and haphazard in an open doorway in a resort in the lovely country of Aerugo. "And what do you know, you really did find other royalty," Edward Elric said and shook his head.. "Only you dork-ass, only you."

"I can explain," Ling said, "there's no need for jealousy. It's merely an misunderstanding...."

"Who says I'm jealous," Ed snorted, grinning.

"You allow your servants to speak to you in such a manner?" the younger prince cried. "I see, it's how you blend with the commoners so well, isn't it?"

"Oh," Ed said, moving back into the room, kicking the door shut, "do go on Prince Ling, this ought to be good."


Tags: fic
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