The Icon Alchemist (sky_dark) wrote,
The Icon Alchemist

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Crack Theater: Pillow Without A Clue

I got a Christmas Present that just begged for a Crack Theatre. ;_; I love you maypirate!!

Fullmetal: Look, I've already told you, you ain't no damn plushie! See me?! I got appendages that like stick out and stuff, you only got ironed on ones and you can't even wiggle them. How the fuck did you get in here, anyways?
Lingpi: But I'm filled with man-made fibers, just like you. I imitate a human form, just like you. If you rub against me I'll get a hard-on and hopefully you will, too.
Fullmetal: You crazy fuck, I'm gonna cut you!

Plushie!Colonel: Did I hear hard-on? Do you have a hard-on, Fullmetal? You know I'm here for you.
Fullmetal: Well lookie here, the perpetually horny brigade sent over it's commander. I ain't got a hard-on and you better not have one.
Lingpi: I could have a hard-on with a little help here, just some tactile stimulus.
Plushie!Colonel: I could help you with that, but Fullmetal seems to think I like the taste of his pulleys and gears here
Fullmetal: No one is giving anyone else hard-ons, you got that?!

Mini-Al: I have a kitty!
Fullmetal: Yeah Al, we know, go on back to the shelf like a good boy and I'll be up later.
Mini-Al: I always have a hard-on, I came ready made with one!
Fullmetal: AL! Great, now see what you assholes have done?
Lingpi: Stand closer to me, Kitty-Bearer
Plushie!Colonel: Al, am I still in the date book tonight for 7:30?

Bobble: Uh, hey guys, hate to interupt here. But Plastic!Colonel sent me over to say you're being to loud. We are having our monthy 'How to Take Over The World or At Least Sky's Finances' meeting, and he thinks you should keep it down.
Lingpi: See? I am a plushie, I do not resemble this Ed, he is made of stiff and inflexible materials. I bet he has constant hard-on's, too.
Bobble: I do but I'm not allowed to talk about them. The Plastic!Contigent are morally upright represntations of fictional character and we must present a united and ethical front no matter how slashy Plastic!Ed!Without!Coat is.
Fullmetal: A bunch of panty waisted, tree hugging, liberal ass kissers if you ask me.
Plushie!Colonel: What's your digits shaky and solid?
Fullmetal: Everyone SHUT UP! This is a erection-free zone starting right now! Someone tell this THING he's not a plushie and not an action figure!

Fullmetal: WTF is that and WTF did it just say?

PillowEd: Sporble.
PillowEd: Sporble.
Fullmetal: Holy shit, it's an invasion! Hide the women and the Colonel Plushies!
Lingpi: No, these are merely my comrades, they are here asking about my absence.

PillowEd: Sporble.
PillowEd: Sporble.
PillowAl: Sporbie!
Lingpi: They are asking me to come back home with them, to The Bed.
Plushie!Colonel: You live on...The Bed?
Fullmetal: I've heard tales of The Bed, magical, mystical tales.
Bobble: And sometimes fearsome noises come the from of The Bed. It is said many great battles are fought there and the roaring is that of vanquished demons.
Mini-Al: My kitty's name is Kitty!

Lingpi: Behold, this is The Bed. That is pumpkin-puss. He belongs to Hakuyama and is Al's guardian.
PillowEd: Sporble.
PillowEd: Sporble.
PillowAl: Sporbie!
Lingpi: They say that you can't stay here, because only the Pillows may be on the bed.
Fullmetal: So wait, you're a pillow?
Colonel!Pllushie: I haven't gotten your digits yet.
Bobble: No one is going to believe I've been on the bed
Mini-Al: He has a big kitty *drool*

Lingpi: DAMMIT, you guys ruin everything. I was so freakin' close and now I'm stuck up here again watching pumpkin-puss hump Al for twelve hours a day. Someone get me some damn arms, there's gotta be some sizing or something that can be stuffed in here to make them stick out. The Bed my ASS. What's so great about it, I inevitably get squished or thrown onto the floor and then the snoring rattles the windows. Freakin' sucks. I was so gunning for the office, this just blows.
PillowEd: Sporble.

No plushies or action figures were accidentally stepped on in the making of this production.
Static Images: sky_dark
Lame Script: sky_dark
Fetcher of things: hakuyama
Rolling Eyes: hakuyama
Repeatedly told to 'Get out of the picture!': hakuyama

Used to hold up PillowEds and PillowAl: Togipei and Pikachu Plushies

Please don't hold this against me.

Tags: crack theatre
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